Dear Diary: My Life Raising Brown Girls

There is a quiet weight many of us carry. One that does not always get named out loud. It lives in our decisions, in the pressure to succeed, in the guilt that surfaces when we fall short. It sounds like a whisper, and sometimes a demand: Don’t let my sacrifice be a waste. For many of us, that voice belongs to our parents. It is in the long hours they worked, the opportunities they did not have, the things they went without so we could have more. It is in the risks they took, the environments they endured, and the strength they summoned just to make it through each day. Whether they ever said those exact words or not, the message often lands the same—we are expected to make it mean something. And it does mean something. Somewhere along the way, that meaning can become heavy. What begins as gratitude can quietly turn into pressure. We start measuring our worth by how well we’re honoring their sacrifices. Every misstep feels like more than a personal failure; It feels like a betrayal of ...

There is something sacred about the love of a mother; especially one who has journeyed through many seasons of life. Our elderly mothers carry stories, sacrifices, wisdom, and a quiet strength that has shaped who we are. As time gently changes their bodies and rhythms, our hearts naturally turn toward them with deeper care, gratitude, and concern. In these moments, prayer becomes a powerful way to honor them. Today, I invite you to pause and lift up a heartfelt prayer for the healing and restoration of the mothers who have poured so much into us. Gracious and Loving God, We come before you with thankful hearts, lifting up our elderly mothers into your compassionate care. Thank You for their lives; their love, their resilience, and the countless ways they have nurtured and guided us. Lord, we ask for your healing hand to rest upon them. Where there is pain, bring comfort. Where there is weakness, renew strength. Where there is illness, release your rest. Calm their minds and eas...

Heavenly Father, Thank You for the gift of children and the privilege of guiding them. Parenting can be joyful, but it can also be exhausting and challenging. Lord, help us to see each difficult moment as an opportunity to grow in patience, perseverance, and faith, just as You teach in Romans 5:3–5. Strengthen our character, deepen our hope, and remind us that our efforts are never in vain. Father, give us wisdom to build homes filled with love and care, to plant seeds of faith and kindness, and to raise our children with intention, as You instructed through Jeremiah 29:4–7. Help us to bless our families, our homes, and our communities, trust that as we invest in them, they will thrive. Lord, guide our hearts as we teach, correct, and nurture, remembering Proverbs 22:6, that the lessons we impart now can shape our children for a lifetime. Give us patience on the hard days, joy in the small victories, and faith that Your Spirit is working in both us and our children. May our home...

Relearning How to Care for What God Calls Holy  Scripture: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” — 1 Corinthians 6:19 Reflection:  Motherhood can change the way you relate to your body. What once felt personal can begin to feel functional—something to manage, push through, or ignore so you can keep going. Your body becomes a means to an end. A tool for caregiving. A place you inhabit but no longer tend to. Yet Scripture reminds us that your body has never lost its sacredness. It is not valuable because of what it can produce or endure. It is holy because God chose to dwell there. Your body does not need to be fixed before it is honored. It needs to be listened to, rested, and cared for with kindness.   Wellness Insight: When we override hunger, exhaustion, pain, or emotional cues, the body learns it is not safe to speak. Over time, this can lead to disconnection and burnout. Wellness ...

  Tending to the Heart God Entrusted to You Scripture:   “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23   Reflection:  Sacrifice is often celebrated in motherhood. We praise endurance, selflessness, and the ability to keep going no matter the cost. But over time, constant sacrifice can quietly teach you to ignore your own inner world.   You learn to push past your feelings. You learn to minimize your needs. You learn to survive without being tended to.   Yet God does not ask you to disappear in order to love well. Beneath the responsibilities and routines is still a woman with a heart that feels, hopes, grieves, and longs to be cared for—not corrected, not rushed, but gently healed.   Healing does not mean something is wrong with you. It means something precious has been carrying too much for too long.   Wellness Insight:   Emotional pain that goes unacknowledged do...

  Making Room for Desire Without Shame   Scripture:   “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” — Psalm 37:4   Reflection:  There is a particular kind of guilt that surfaces when you begin to want more; not more things, but more space, more meaning, more life. It often arrives quietly, wrapped in questions like: Shouldn’t I be content? or Is it wrong to want something for myself?   Many women learn to associate goodness with self-denial. Over time, desire becomes something to suppress rather than listen to. But Scripture does not treat desire as something sinful by default. God speaks of desire as something shaped in relationship with Him; not erased, but refined.   Wanting more does not mean you are ungrateful. It does not mean you love your family less. It often means you are still alive to the life God placed within you.   Grace meets you right there.   Wellness Insight: ...

Noticing the Quiet Erosion of Wholeness   Scripture:  “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’”— Mark 6:31 Reflection:  Caregiving often begins as an act of love. Over time, it can quietly become a way of life where your needs are always secondary, postponed, or ignored altogether. At first, this feels normal—even noble. But slowly, something shifts. You stop noticing how tired you are. You stop asking what you need. You learn to function without checking in with yourself, believing that this is simply what faithfulness looks like.   Yet even Jesus noticed when the giving became too much. He saw the exhaustion. He named the need. He called His disciples away—not because they failed, but because they were human. Care that costs you yourself is not the goal. Wholeness is.   Wellness Insight:   When careg...

Remembering Your Identity Beyond Roles   Scripture: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” — Isaiah 43:1   Reflection:  Before motherhood, before the sleepless nights, before the endless tasks and responsibilities, you were known. You were loved. You were God’s. Motherhood is sacred and life-changing, but it can also quietly blur our sense of self. Over time, it’s easy to measure your value by what you do; diapers changed, meals prepared, schedules kept. And while  these acts of love are meaningful, they are not the totality of who you are.   God calls you first and foremost by your name, not your role. You are His beloved daughter, fearfully and wonderfully made. This week, we begin by remembering that identity. The part of you that exists beyond caregiving, beyond tasks, beyond roles.   Wellness Insight: Wellness begins with presence and awareness. When you recognize that your worth is not ti...

"Rooted Beyond Motherhood"   is a blog series rooted in spiritual identity, emotional well-being, and wholeness in Christ. While motherhood is sacred, it does not define the entirety of who we are. Through this series, we explore the full spectrum of womanhood beyond motherhood; our dreams, creativity, struggles, passions, and evolving identities. It invites women to reconnect with their God-given identity, nurture their emotional and spiritual health, and remember that before we were mothers, we were beloved daughters, called women, and whole persons in Christ. Motherhood is a vital chapter in our story, but it is not the whole story. Below is the outline for the series. Blog Series Outline Before I Was "Mom," I Was His When Caregiving Costs You Yourself The Guilt of Wanting More and God’s Grace Healing the Woman Beneath the Sacrifice Your Body Is Still Sacred Friendship, Solitude & Spiritual Community You're Calling Isn’t Cancelled by Motherhood Becoming W...

Today, while waiting for the train, I found myself reflecting on all the events that have taken place over the past few months, but especially over the past few days. Some days have been better than others. Lately, life’s circumstances have made me feel as though I were drowning. No matter what I did, it felt like I was sinking. I could not keep my head above water. As the months and days passed, it did not seem as though things were getting any better. I had no fight left in me. I was willing to give up. I was willing to drown. One Sunday morning in March, I was informed about a women’s conference scheduled to take place in May at Emmanuel Baptist Church . It sounded interesting, so I requested a flyer. Weeks passed, and I still had not decided whether I would attend. Then, on Sunday, April 24, 2016, the sermon was based on the subject “Go As God Leads.” After hearing that sermon, I decided to attend the conference. This past weekend was enlightening. I attended the 2016 Chosen Women ...

These past six months has been the best in such a long time. I have been putting myself first for once in my life. I did for others before I did for myself. I cared for others before I cared for myself. I sacrificed for others, but NO one sacrificed anything for me. I gave my time, my heart and soul to people who were not deserving of it. I gave people the benefit of the doubt even when I knew they did not deserve it. I trusted people even though I knew they were lying, doing and doing things that would cause them to lose my trust. Well, those days are long gone. I was never the person who cared what anyone thought or said about me, then at some point in my life I began to care. That was where I made my mistake. What matters is my opinion of myself.  People judged spoke negatively about Jesus and then crucified him. So who am I. People will talk about you whether you are doing well or not. They will find or make up something to talk about when they know nothing about you. People w...

As I sit cuddled up on my bed, I decided to turn the TV on and flip through the multitude of Optimum channels. However, there was nothing on that I wanted to watch. As I continued to channel surf, I stopped at two of my favorite channels TVOne  which was showing Martin and Antenna TV They were showing WKRP In Cincinnati . I did not want to watch either, so I continued to scroll looking for The Jeffersons . Unfortunately, the show was not on so I turned off the television. With nothing to do, I laid in bed thinking about the sitcoms and the relationship they had with their spouse as well as with their friends. After comparing and contrasting the relationships, I noticed they all had friendships with other couples. Lucy and Ricky were friends with Ethel and Fred. Louis and George were friends with Tom and Helen. Alice and Ralph were friends with Trixie and Ed. Then I began comparing my relationship to those on the television shows. I realized that my significant other and I do n...

I woke up this morning at 4:57AM. Believe me it was not on purpose. As a result of this, I am tired, cranky and annoyed. This is not a good combination. I'm surrounded by all sorts of noise. For example, loud horns, loud trains loud music, loud people, and inconsiderate neighbors who allow their children to go to make noise all day and all night. They go to bed extremely late, get up extremely early to dragging or dropping things on and across the floor. I cannot stand noise and it makes my ears hurt. Talking to the parents is useless. It seems as though they cannot control them. I expect children to play and make noise. Nonetheless, after a certain time all horse play should cease. I have a ten year old who likes to dance, flip and bounce around. However, she is not allowed to do any activity of those activities during the week after 7:30pm (except Friday), before noon during the weekend, after 9:30 on Saturday or after 8 on Sunday. Between 9:00 and 9:30, Sunday-Thursday, she i...

In less than one hour 2014 will be over. This year I was tested a lot. I often fell to my knees in prayer. My faith was tested to the maximum. There were times when I wanted to throw in the towel and end it all. You see Satan (the devil) was working overtime. He was coming at me from every angel. Every time I overcame one hurdle he threw another one in front of me.  I had to go back and forth to court with my daughters father which left me drained. Co-parenting is already a difficult task. It is even more difficult when the noncustodial parent refuses to communicate. It is more difficult when the noncustodial parent communicates through the child. It is very difficult when the noncustodial parent does not know or refuses be cordial. I had to withdraw from college. Her father stated "I can't watch her on the weekends". My response was, you are not "watching her" because she is your child. So as a result I withdrew. I have so much to say about this, but I wil...

Liar, Liar by Latrese Carter is consumed with secrets, lies, deceit, disrespect and infidelity. Childhood friends Stormy Knight and Camden Brooks paths crossed again when Camden decided to move from New York City back to his hometown. Camden Brooks came from a very good home. His father (Reverend Brooks) and mother were Pastor and First Lady of a well know church. As a result of this, Camden was labeled a church kid and everyone expected him to live and behave in a certain manner. Eventually, Camden could no longer live with the pressure of being the son of a pastor. So when it was time for him to apply to college he decided he would go to school out of state. This would allow him to reveal who he "really"was. As time passed they began to date and their relationship was going very well. At least this is what Stormy believed until a secret is revealed to her that will change her life forever. She had no idea that she was being used in what Camden thought was a great scheme. ...