Getting Back To Me

These past six months has been the best in such a long time. I have been putting myself first for once in my life. I did for others before I did for myself. I cared for others before I cared for myself. I sacrificed for others, but NO one sacrificed anything for me. I gave my time, my heart and soul to people who were not deserving of it. I gave people the benefit of the doubt even when I knew they did not deserve it. I trusted people even though I knew they were lying, doing and doing things that would cause them to lose my trust. Well, those days are long gone.

I was never the person who cared what anyone thought or said about me, then at some point in my life I began to care. That was where I made my mistake. What matters is my opinion of myself. People judged spoke negatively about Jesus and then crucified him. So who am I. People will talk about you whether you are doing well or not. They will find or make up something to talk about when they know nothing about you. People who are evil, vindictive and envious are the worst people because their mission is to seek and destroy. The devil tried and he continues to try, but he was and is not successful.

Well guess what I am back to not giving two fucks about what people do or say. Especially, if I know it's not true. I am HAPPILY single. I am much happier than I have been in a long time. I have peace in my life and in my home. I am dating myself. I am enjoying myself. I am getting reacquainted with myself and I love it. I am not saying I don't want or need anyone in my life or to do anything for me. At this moment, it is not at the top of my bucket list.

I am surrounded by people who genuinely care about me, my children and our well being. I am a woman who has been through a lot. I have the emotional scars to prove it . Nonetheless, the Lord brought me through it. I am a woman, a mother who has been able to and will continue to do for myself and my children. I thank God everyday because he allows me to do so. There is no love lost towards anyone and I do not regret any decisions I have made.

I would probably have done a few things differently, but I learn from every experience and situation in my life. I learned a huge lesson. The good thing is I am not angry about a certain situation anymore. I did what needed to be done for my sanity. It's like the old saying goes, "When you know better you do better". I am doing so much Better.

Comments

Help! My Parents Drive Me Crazy

A few years ago, I created a Facebook group for children of Black and Brown parents called “Help! My Parents Drive Me Crazy.” The purpose of this group is to provide a safe, supportive space where adolescents aged 14 and up can connect, share experiences, and discover strategies for navigating adolescence, young adulthood, middle adulthood, and beyond. People from all walks of adolescence and young adulthood are welcome to join, creating a community where we can learn, grow, and support one another . This is a positive, uplifting space — no bashing is allowed. Here, we lift each other up, share our journeys, and celebrate the joys and challenges of growing up and living life as a brown child or young adult. You will find understanding, encouragement, and connection as you navigate the journey of being yourself. Discussion Topics Include: Navigating parent-child relationships Communication strategies with parents Identity, culture, and heritage Buildi...

Week 1: Before I Was Mom, I Was His

Remembering Your Identity Beyond Roles Scripture: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” — Isaiah 43:1 Reflection: Before motherhood, before the sleepless nights, before the endless tasks and responsibilities, you were known. You were loved. You were God’s. Motherhood is sacred and life-changing, but it can also quietly blur our sense of self. Over time, it’s easy to measure your value by what you do; diapers changed, meals prepared, schedules kept. And while these acts of love are meaningful, they are not the totality of who you are. God calls you first and foremost by your name, not your role. You are His beloved daughter, fearfully and wonderfully made. This week, we begin by remembering that identity. The part of you that exists beyond caregiving, beyond tasks, beyond roles. Wellness Insight: Wellness begins with presence and awareness. When you recognize that your worth is not ti...

Happy 10th Birthday Nyasia

It was a cold February day. I recall being at work and talking to my friend/coworker "Medina". I told her that my menstrual cycle was late and I needed to go to Duane Reade during lunch. That day I took a total of four pregnancy test. I needed to make sure because of a previous experience I had with her sister Tereya. When I was pregnant with Tereya, I also took three test. The results were not accurate. One was positive, two were negative and finally a positive blood test. There is no need for me to elaborate, we all know how the story ended. Lol! September 8th, is a very special day. God blessed me with my second daughter one decade ago today. I remember that night as if it were yesterday. If it were up to the ER physician, Nyasia would have been born in the elevator or the sidewalk. My Ob/Gyn was performing a c-section and he barely made it in time to deliver my baby. Dr. Kuno handed me this little tiny baby with the big beautiful eyes. She was born at 12:56am...

Dear Diary: My Life Raising Brown Girls

Search This Blog