Dear Diary: My Life Raising Brown Girls

In a few weeks NYC schools will be dismissed for Summer break. For some parents, Summer is time for a little R&R (rest and relaxation). They do not have to rush to get the kids ready and out the house for school. They get to sleep a little later. Well, I'm sorry to break the news to you. The children do not have the same vision as you. They are ready to enjoy their Summer vacation. They are ready to bounce off the walls. They are ready to be entertained and you should be ready too. Otherwise, be prepared to hear the famous phrase all children say, "Mommy, I'm bored". The issue a lot of parents have is trying to keep their children active and entertained mentally as well as physically during Summer vacation. Another issue that arises during Summer vacation is the cost of entertaining your children. These issues are common among several households especially in single parent households. Don't be discouraged. There are several free and inexpensive things yo...

Today, our kids are exposed to so much information. Unfortunately, not all information is true and nor is the information from credible sources. However, discussions such as puberty among other topics should occur with the parents. Puberty is a very difficult stage for girls, boys and the family. They are very temperamental and often feel insecure. So as parents, it is our responsibility to reassure them that the changes they are going through emotionally, mentally and physically are normal. Puberty has reared its ugly head in my home. You would think I would be prepared since I have experienced this with my older daughter. The truth is I am prepared. However, I was not expecting it to happen so quickly. I have noticed kids are experiencing puberty a lot faster than in prior generations. Sadly, this has a lot to do with the meat and dairy. There are a lot of chemicals in our food and as a result of that, it is making our children develop a lot faster. As an ad...

When you are pregnant you develop a bond with the baby. That bond strengthens when you feel the baby move for the first time, when you hear the heart beat and it definitely occurs when you go for your sonogram and you see your baby. It's such an amazing feeling. Unfortunately, this is not the case for every woman. Some women may find it difficult to bond with her unborn child. So how does someone carry a baby for months, give birth, bring the baby home and then kill the baby? Have you been following the story about  Megan Huntsman  the 39-year-old woman who was arrested in Utah for killing at least six of her seven babies; one baby was born stillborn. She then stuffed their innocent lifeless bodies into individual boxes and packed them away in the garage. How can she look at herself in the mirror knowing what she has done? The news has labeled her a baby serial killer. Baby serial killers are very rare. However, it appears that she is not the first woman who ha...

Having a mate or significant other can be delightful. You support one another, set goals and encourage one another to do better in all areas of your life. However, the relationship can be dreadful if it is with the wrong individual.  Sometimes someone else's situation reminds of something I have gone through and sometimes I place myself in their shoes to see things from their perspective. The R&B singer Tyrese has a song called "Best of Me" , I decided  to write my version titled "(You Brought Out) The Worst In Me". What a task it was to be loved by you Suppose to be my best friend, but that was not true You said everything you could to break me down But did whatever it took to keep me around baby It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders Because of your conditional love baby that's why You brought out the worst in me, every day I was so angry And if I had to do it again, I would not choose to boy You brought ou...

I am not a parent of a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender (LGBT) child, so I cannot say I understand what a parent of a LGBT child is going through. However, I have friends and family members who are and have children who are LGB so I can relate to a certain degree. Growing up I had friends who were gay and who were lesbians. A few of them told me and a few of them hid it from me. Why? I have no idea. What they failed to realize was I already knew, but I wanted them to tell me on their own. It is on no account painless for mothers and fathers to find out that their son or daughter is a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Nor is it any easier for the child to tell their mother, father, friends or other family members that they are or may be a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. I remember the day someone very close to me told me he was attracted to guys. He was so nervous. As he began to speak, he started stuttering and sweating bullets. After he finished speaking I did no...

I am a single parent of two wonderful brown girls. I want nothing but the best for them. However, I realize growing up in today’s society is not easy. It is completely different from when I was a child.  Young girls of every race will encounter similar challenges on a daily basis. These challenges consist of peer pressure, low self esteem, self worth, bullying, education, the expectations we as parents have set for them and let’s not forget self perception (body image, hair, fashion sense, sexuality, identity, etc). Several of these girls may encounter one if not all the challenges. Instead of enjoying their formative years, they are preoccupied with trying to fit into society’s expectations of how they should look. Young girls of every race has some insecurities, but the media, social networking sites, and the community have made it very difficult for brown girls to accept, embrace and love their self for who they are. Commercials, TV shows, magazines, movies and videos per...

A lot had occurred throughout the relationship with my youngest daughters’ father.  I tried to forgive him for the things he said and did, but it was very hard to forgive him. At some point in the relationship, I was left feeling hurt, disappointed, frustrated and angry. These feelings began to affect my well being. As time passed and the longer we stayed together, those feelings turned into resentment. When my youngest daughters’ father and I parted ways, my children were thirteen and seven. Unfortunately, our relationship did not end on good terms. Nonetheless, I was optimistic that we would be able to collaborate as a team to raise our daughter. Boy was I wrong. He wanted what he wanted when he wanted them. Things had to be done his way or no way. Talking to him was very stressful and draining. There have been times when a straightforward conversation turned into a shouting match. Sadly, we were not able to have a civilized telephone conversation. There have been many day...