Dear Diary: My Life Raising Brown Girls

Noticing the Quiet Erosion of Wholeness   Scripture:  “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’”— Mark 6:31 Reflection:  Caregiving often begins as an act of love. Over time, it can quietly become a way of life where your needs are always secondary, postponed, or ignored altogether. At first, this feels normal—even noble. But slowly, something shifts. You stop noticing how tired you are. You stop asking what you need. You learn to function without checking in with yourself, believing that this is simply what faithfulness looks like.   Yet even Jesus noticed when the giving became too much. He saw the exhaustion. He named the need. He called His disciples away—not because they failed, but because they were human. Care that costs you yourself is not the goal. Wholeness is.   Wellness Insight:   When careg...

Remembering Your Identity Beyond Roles   Scripture: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” — Isaiah 43:1   Reflection:  Before motherhood, before the sleepless nights, before the endless tasks and responsibilities, you were known. You were loved. You were God’s. Motherhood is sacred and life-changing, but it can also quietly blur our sense of self. Over time, it’s easy to measure your value by what you do; diapers changed, meals prepared, schedules kept. And while  these acts of love are meaningful, they are not the totality of who you are.   God calls you first and foremost by your name, not your role. You are His beloved daughter, fearfully and wonderfully made. This week, we begin by remembering that identity. The part of you that exists beyond caregiving, beyond tasks, beyond roles.   Wellness Insight: Wellness begins with presence and awareness. When you recognize that your worth is not ti...

"Rooted Beyond Motherhood"   is a blog series rooted in spiritual identity, emotional well-being, and wholeness in Christ. While motherhood is sacred, it does not define the entirety of who we are. Through this series, we explore the full spectrum of womanhood beyond motherhood; our dreams, creativity, struggles, passions, and evolving identities. It invites women to reconnect with their God-given identity, nurture their emotional and spiritual health, and remember that before we were mothers, we were beloved daughters, called women, and whole persons in Christ. Motherhood is a vital chapter in our story, but it is not the whole story. Below is the outline for the series. Blog Series Outline Before I Was "Mom," I Was His When Caregiving Costs You Yourself The Guilt of Wanting More and God’s Grace Healing the Woman Beneath the Sacrifice Your Body Is Still Sacred Friendship, Solitude & Spiritual Community You're Calling Isn’t Cancelled by Motherhood Becoming W...

A  few years ago, I created a Facebook group for children of Black and Brown parents called “Help! My Parents Drive Me Crazy.” The purpose of this group is to provide a safe, supportive space where adolescents aged 14 and up can connect, share experiences, and discover strategies for navigating adolescence, young adulthood, middle adulthood, and beyond. People from all walks of adolescence and young adulthood are welcome to join, creating a community where we can learn, grow, and support one another . This is a positive, uplifting space — no bashing is allowed. Here, we lift each other up, share our journeys, and celebrate the joys and challenges of growing up and living life as a brown child or young adult. You will find understanding, encouragement, and connection as you navigate the journey of being yourself. Discussion Topics Include: Navigating parent-child relationships Communication strategies with parents Identity, culture, and heritage Buildi...

A few years ago, I created  Facebook group for mothers or mother figures raising brown daughters! The purpose of this group is to provide a safe space for fathers to connect, share experiences, and discover effective strategies for navigating fatherhood — however that looks for you. This is a  positive, uplifting,  supportive community . There is  no bashing is allowed. Here, we lift each other up, share our journeys, and celebrate the joys and challenges of motherhood together. You will find  understanding, encouragement, and connection  as you navigate the journey of raising brown daughters. Topics for Discuss Include: How to be a great mother Raising daughters and navigating challenges Child behavioral issues and discipline strategies Managing stress and practicing self-care Education and academic support Encouraging confidence and self-esteem Celebrating culture, identity, and heritage Health, nutrit...

A few years ago, I created  Facebook group for fathers or father figures raising brown daughters! The purpose of this group is to provide a safe space for fathers to connect, share experiences, and discover effective strategies for navigating fatherhood — however that looks for you. This group is a positive, supportive community . There is no dad-bashing allowed. Here, we lift each other up, learn from one another, and grow together as fathers. Topics for Discuss Include: Effective Co-Parenting Strategies How to Be a Great Father Raising Daughters: Challenges and Insights Managing Child Behavior and Discipline Handling Stress, Overwhelm, and Practicing Self-Care Whether you’re seeking advice, sharing successes, or simply connecting with other fathers who understand your journey, this is a space for encouragement, growth, and support. Join us and be part of a community that celebrates fatherhood while honoring the unique experience of raising brown dau...

Some days, life presses hard against me. The mistakes I’ve made, the people I’ve lost, the moments I wish I could take back… they leave marks I didn’t expect, lessons I didn’t ask for. I feel bruised by disappointment, by loss, by choices that hurt more than I can admit. I’ve stumbled, questioning my strength, my purpose, even my place in the world. But even in the heaviness, something inside me refuses to give up. I am still here. Every bruise I carry tells a story not of defeat, but of endurance. Of the times I got back up when it would have been easier to stay down. Of the resilience I didn’t know I had until life demanded it. I’m learning that being strong doesn’t mean being untouched. It means choosing to heal, to grow, to move forward, even when the path feels impossible. I am not the same person I once was, and maybe that’s the point. I am becoming someone who understands that pain is not the end it’s a beginning. A teacher. A doorway to deeper strength. So yes, I am bruised. Li...

Some stories begin with love. Mine began with absence, resilience, and a young mother who was still learning how to live while trying to raise me. This is my journey through pain, purpose, and the kind of love that grows from survival the story of what it means to be the daughter of a teen mother and an absent father. No one could have prepared me for being the daughter of a teen mother and an absent father. No one could have prepared me for the obstacles, the journey, or the emotional and mental effects it would have on me both as a child and even now, as an adult. I wasn’t ready for the heartache, the breakdowns, the letdowns, or the tears. I wasn’t ready for how deeply it would shape me. There were days it felt like I was walking through fire barefoot, with no one to carry me, no one to shield me from the burn. I know God has a plan and a purpose for my life. I’ve always believed that. But for years, it seemed as though my life was destined for destruction. Every path I took seeme...

Have you ever wondered why certain things happen?  Why no matter how hard you try to live right,  to do good by others, to love, to forgive, life still throws storms your way? Have you ever felt like everything keeps happening to you, but nothing seems to happen for you? Have you ever looked around and whispered,  How did I get here?  Not out of curiosity, but out of exhaustion. How did I get here? To this place where my heart feels heavy and my hope feels thin. Where I’ve done everything I thought was right and still feel like I’m standing in the wrong place. I’ve asked that question more times than I can count. I’ve asked it in the dark, with tears soaking my pillow. I’ve asked it in prayer, hands raised but my spirit sinking. I’ve asked it in silence, when words couldn’t carry the weight of what I felt. And the truth is, I don’t always get an answer. But sometimes, in the quiet after the crying, I feel something stir, a whisper that says,  You’re still her...

I am the mountain  sounds powerful. To some, it sounds like a symbol of strength, stillness, and endurance. But when I say I am the mountain , I do not think of those things. I think of struggling, sacrifice and more. I think of being and feeling stuck. I think of standing in my own way. I have endured and overcome a lot on this journey of life, and yet I am still the mountain. Mistrust, worthlessness, anxiety, and hopelessness are the rocks that build me. They make me feel like I am my own barrier. They are the walls I cannot seem to climb. I am the mountain that prevents me from living the life I want. I am the mountain that stands between me and love. I am the mountain that stands between me and God. When mistrust and hopelessness mix, the weight of it is hard to describe. It’s like standing at the base of myself, unable to see a way up. The fog of my fears, being anxious, feeling stagnant, feeling hopeless, unlovable and unworthy makes it hard to find the path. I have prayed, ...

Let’s talk about something that keeps coming up and frankly, needs to stop. Every time a young person acts out, there’s this knee-jerk reaction to blame the parent specifically the single parent. It's a narrative that’s not only outdated, but flat-out harmful. And as a single parent myself, I’ve had enough of it. Let’s be clear, being a single parent does not cause bad behavior. I’m always baffled by how quickly society rushes to point fingers at single-parent households when kids struggle. It’s as if one parent automatically equals a broken home, and that simply isn’t true. I know countless single parents myself included whose children are thriving. They’re respectful, responsible, ambitious, and full of potential. Why? Because what really matters isn’t the number of adults in a household it’s the love, consistency, support, and stability that child receives. Yes, it can be hard doing it all on your own. But single parents are showing up every day, doing the work, and raising amaz...

Today, I found myself thinking about how often single parenthood is misunderstood. It’s not a plague. It is not a moral failure or a tragedy. It is not something to be pitied. It is real. It is life. And it is lived every single day by people who are doing their absolute best to raise happy, resilient children often with less help and more judgment than anyone realizes. I think about how easily society places labels on single parents “broken homes,” “missing pieces,” “what went wrong.” But when I really look at it, I see something else entirely. I see strength. I see love that refuses to quit. I see people showing up as parents, providers, role models, protectors even when they’re exhausted and unseen. There is not one story that leads to single parenthood. Some arrive here after loss, a divorce, a separation, a death. Others arrive here because of illness, abandonment, or a difficult choice someone else made for them. And yes, some choose this path. They chose to raise a child on th...

It has been one year since you passed away, Yet somehow, I still feel you every day. Not in the flesh, but in the quiet air A sacred whisper, soft, and everywhere. You walked me through this life with patient hands, And now you walk in Heaven’s promised lands. I close my eyes and feel your spirit near, A gentle peace that whispers, I’m still here. You taught me faith without a single word, Your prayers were seen, your heart was always heard. You showed me love that never had to shout A steady grace that cast all shadows out. I know your soul has found its rightful place, Resting in light, embraced by boundless grace. And though I mourn, I do not walk alone Your legacy still anchors me like stone. A year has passed, but love has never died; You live with God and walk still by my side. You weren’t just (Grand)daddy you were my guide, The one who stood forever by my side. You taught me strength wrapped gently up in care, And love that time could never tear. Your stories shape the way I se...

My young ladies. My heartbeats. My browngirls. The loves of my life. My reasons for everything. From the moment I found out I was pregnant until today, I have been calling your names, speaking life and blessings over you, and praying for you. As I long as I have a single breath in my body, I will continue to do so. Remember, you can do all things, but fail. God can do all things but fail. On those hard days, don't give up. Turn to God, and he will guide you.  Stay the course. Stay focused. Always love on each other. When friends and family are nowhere to be found, you will ALWAYS have each other. I Love You Always and forever❤️.                                                              Be blessed, my loves!

I don’t even know where to start. I keep looking at you. In my mind. In my heart. Everywhere. Everything gets tangled. Tangled. Tangled. I love you. But I am conflicted in my spirit. I see the love in you, raw and bright, tainted by fear. I see someone I would protect and the same someone who has carved scars into me. Left me exposed. Vulnerable. Feeling alone. Your hands. Hands I would trust with my life. The same hands that shattered my walls. My trust. My world. I feel the pull of you. The hunger. The ache when you’re gone. The sadness that lingers when you are not near. Everything I cannot resist. Everything that terrifies me. Love. Betrayal. Tangled. Knotted. I cannot untangle it. And still, I see myself fragile. Stubborn. Broken. Wanting. I’ve forgiven too much. Given too much. And yet, I keep coming back. Always. Always coming back. To you. The one who refuses to see the pain. The one who dismisses my feelings. The one who cannot see my perspective. What is your goal? Your ...