Letter To My Absent Father

I did not get a chance to post this yesterday. Today is Day 2 of my process. Writing has always been beneficial to my psychological well being. Throughout my life writing has allowed me to express what I needed to say when I felt I had no voice. Although I know my "absent father" and I will never come face to face, I decided to write him letter. I have written him several letters and today I will share one with you.

Dear Father,

To you I was of no value I guess I had no worth

If I did you would not have denied me from birth

You never reached out to me not even to explain

You have no idea how you scarred me I was filled with so much pain

Until TODAY I've held this inside and for so long I went through it alone

TODAY, I cried because you have not been in my life and I am already grown

So many things have happened that you did not get a chance to see

You have missed out on so many things and not only me

By the way, you have two amazing granddaughters you may never get to meet

Growing up I always wondered why you didn't search for me

I know there wasn't anything wrong with your hands or you feet

Eventually, the time will come when you have to face the truth

The first step is to admit you played a part in my existence when you were in your youth

For so long I was angry with you and I took it out on the world

I felt I was robbed of the opportunity to be daddy’s little girl

The truth is I am done crying, Mary Mary said it best... I cried my last tears

I have allowed this to paralyze my life for too many years

I have accepted the fact that you and I will never be

I have come to terms with my reality

If it were left up to me I would throw you in a hole

But instead I pray that the Lord Jesus Christ has mercy on your soul

One Day At A Time

Several things in life can and will have an impact on your life.

However, being motherless or fatherless can leave a hole in your soul. It will not heal quickly nor will it heal easily.

With that being said,

I have FAITH and I am fully relying on God instead of

myself to help me throughout this process and my journey.

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