Letter To My Absent Father

Today is Day 2 of my process. Writing has always been beneficial to my psychological well being. Throughout my life writing has allowed me to express what I needed to say when I felt I had no voice. Although I know my "absent father" and I will never come face to face, I decided to write him letter. I have written him several letters and today I will share one with you.

Dear Father,

To you I was of no value I guess I had no worth

If I did you would not have denied me from birth

You never reached out to me not even to explain

You have no idea how you scarred me I was filled with so much pain

Until TODAY I've held this inside and for so long I went through it alone

Today, I cried because you have not been in my life, and I am already grown

So many things have happened that you did not get a chance to see

You have missed out on so many things and not only me

You have two amazing granddaughters you may never get to meet

Growing up I always wondered why you didn't search for me

I know there wasn't anything wrong with your hands or your feet

Eventually, the time will come when you must face the truth

The first step is to admit you played a part in my existence when you were in your youth

For so long I was angry with you, and I took it out on the world

I felt I was robbed of the opportunity to be daddy’s little girl

The truth is I am done crying, Mary Mary said it best... I cried my last tears

I have allowed this to paralyze my life for too many years

I have accepted the fact that you and I will never be

I have come to terms with my reality

If it were left up to me, I would throw you in a hole

But instead, I pray that the Lord Jesus Christ has mercy on your soul

One Day At A Time

Several things in life can and will have an impact on your life. However, being motherless or fatherless can leave a hole in your soul. It will not heal quickly nor will it heal easily.

I have FAITH and I am fully relying on God instead of myself to help me throughout this process and my journey.

Comments

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